Each time I read your name
My mind whispers
I love you.
But I don’t dare udder those words
Into an audible existence.
Because my own silence,
That I can live with.

It’s yours that I couldn’t bear.

Maybe Geography Isn’t the Issue

If emptiness could collapse,
Would this distance between us
Seem any less intolerable?

Maybe geography isn’t the issue, here.
But a cheap excuse to explain
Why you are always unavailable
To satisfy the closeness I crave from you.

Spineless

I mold myself
Into all the shapes
That you want me to be.

Pervigilo

Is it your fear of losing
That makes you go further
What makes me wonder friend
Is how you get away with your lies
‘Cause maybe you have noticed
That I appreciate your company
And every time you have to go
I regret I didn’t let you know
I could love you

And when you hung up the phone
I realized I was alone
And I can’t help it
You’re just so beautiful
I can’t help it
You’re so beautiful

You may have seen the world dear
But you don’t know me
That’s why all of this
Seems so absurd
I lie awake at night
Picturing me and you
I wish I could make it
All clear you see
I could love you

And soon the fall is here
Turning us cold
And I can’t help it
You’re so beautiful
I can’t help it
You’re so beautiful

Oh the morning light
But the demons they come at night
I want to be your appetite
I want to be your good dreams,
your bad dreams
I can’t help it
You’re so beautiful

-first aid kit

Rain

Coffee,
Pink Floyd,
And stop motion films.

Yeah.

On Being Present

Being present means getting out of your head and actually experiencing the world around you.  Most of us go through our day thinking about something else: what we have to do that day, what we’re going to eat for dinner, our plans for the weekend – pretty much anything besides what we are actually doing at that current moment.  Although this type multitasking is often beneficial; I believe that it results in a shallow experience of life.  Sometimes I’ll arrive home from a 30 minute drive to realize that I can’t remember the journey at all.  I don’t want to wake up 10 years from now and have a similar revelation.

So what do you do?  For me, focusing on a simple, minute detail of my environment helps train my brain to slow down and notice things.  For example, sometimes in a crowded place I’ll close my eyes are just listen.  I’ll try to pick apart every layer, every source of sound and focus on it for a moment – give it my full attention.  Other times I will go somewhere quiet, like a park or wooded area.  Being alone in nature has a calming, relaxing effect on the mind.  The absence of evidence of the modern world helps you forget for a moment about stress, deadlines, or insecurities and in turn will turn your focus toward the beauty of the present moment. 

"Bliss is what comes when you have let go of all the things that keep you from feeling blissful"

Uneffected?

Damn.

You keep using all these big words like “together” and “relationship” while all I can think about is the method for sabotaging things I’ll choose this time.

Pretending to care
By pretending not to care.